In my previous entry, I wrote that I listen to music everday. That hasn't changed....it's about the only thing that hasn't changed in my life thus far. My birthday was this past Tuesday, and to be perfectly honest, I never felt so alone. In feeling so alone, I realized that the amount of friends I think I have don't match up to the number I actually have. It sucks, but it's all apart of life, you lose some friends and you gain some friends. I miss the friends and the bonds I had in high school, it didn't seem like much then but I'd give anything to have them back. As difficult as it is for me to say this but I am lonely. I'm incredibly lonely and everyday it is getting harder for me to just put on a smile and hope that today will be a new day. I sound pathetic, complaining that I'm lonely but you don't know what it feels like. To almost finish up my teen years to never have had a companion by my side. You don't know what it's like to always have the right advice for everyone else, to help others with their relationship problems and never have any of your own. "Being single is great." You've got to be kidding me. What's so great about finishing up your day alone by yourself, to go through years of valentine's days alone, to finish every year alone. Where's the greatness in that? There isn't. "Well, being in a couple isn't always great." Really, feed me more cock and bull. There's no greatness in smiling into a pair of eyes that sees you as the most beautiful person in the world, to know that at the end of the day he'll be there with arms wide open? Bullshit. I'm about to finish my first year of college and it's going to end the same way high school did; alone. Now that I look over this, I don't see the point of typing this. No one is going to read it, no one cares. Everyone looks out for themselves, makes sure everyone pays attention to them but not once thinking to take time to look at someone else who is just as important as them...I just needed to clear some space in my head I suppose.
Well, adieu.